summary: dating george is her biggest secret, one she hopes her family never finds out.

word count: 2207

warnings: mentions of weight loss from traumatic situation

notes: finally rewrote this. just want to let you guys know that i am working on requests and turning the blurbs into fics. hoping to get them posted this week! i had a few exams last week so i didn't have too much time to write :)

DESI ARENIS BOUTIQUE and Day SPA

to day in class we learned about the carotid artery
DESI
told me to place my finger tips on the ridge
he told me to stream my finger from the bottom of my ear
to my collar
i felt no artery or protrude.
"you will,you must,it's time"

one might think something so signifigant
might stick out more
nothing is ever easy like that

desi SAID THAT THE cAROTOID ARTERYIF MASSAGED CORRECTLY COULD MAKE A MAN
INSTANTLY
GOOD

no way
not this time.
if you're gonna write a fucking screenplay about this it isn't gonna be  online
and cheapen it as you do all things
at least write it properly and for money
you wonder why I treat a 43 year old man like a child
why don't you explain what it is that I have to deal with all day
trying to move this "experiment " ahead
go ahead write about me ,about this
write me as Frankenstein
for Christ's sake just earn a fucking living and grow up

call me Evan ,call me whatever you want but realize this  Mr Bloom
I have carte blanch to do whatever the fuck I want to you
from the tippy top
get it?
call it Dome call it Proxy
call me fucking god.

this is about something a little bigger than you little bossman
and to see you cheapen it into some fucking writing exercise
something may i remind you you're not supposed to be writing about or talking about AT ALL
knock yourself out
there are consequences as you have seen to every thing yu do and think
that Mr Bloom
is The New Way



oooo if it were only this caressing and coherent or sensical.
no.
I am losing it
this 'experiemnt ' aside
there is nothing to move towards
there is nothing to look back on
I don't even want to wake up anymore

she tells me to keep many blogs.
with different names
she tells me they will be evidence
I say evidence of what
she corrects hersle fand says evident
evident of what
just keep going she says.you didnt need those acting classes.you didnt that job she says she will pay my rent for the next month

god smiles.reading magazines. concurring the price of milk is way toooo high for th earmeee of syrians the faters the fathers. the fat fathers have made this place into their own private cesspool.but live far far away from it. and leave it for the poor to lick i have not obeyed the voice of my teachers. .......... the lights and sound and lights and vision. confuse . everything and everyone and why not the lord for it is all too fast and meaningless. and the style of the times . truth doesnt matter newspapers dont matter. a house of lies/ no truth can come in the heavens open up to a giant light show a lie a blue beam a laser show. it is coming.

september 22


Cecil
called and said he had a dream about me

and said I shouldn't smoke
animals and stuff
don't have much to do all day
i saw a bid on fairfax and the bird seemd to say something to me

insects taste funny
sorta like marlboro lights
insectacidey

Valerie says I must write all my thoughts
of this change
she gave me more pills
I keep 7 blogs.
she says...I am doing so well
that there is something about me

there weren't words yet for what they were doing.
there really was no way around some of the more distasteful elements of cerebral procurement and c temperance

the cleansing process could be difficult

it was important that their brains be augmented and

ADAM  sept 4th 2011

It doesn't stop.

they are not mine
they are not stories
they keep me busy
I quit my acting class
I quit my job at the resteraunt.I cannot wait tables.Not with this going on.
I read over  the last week's entries
my mother called .she wants me to come home.


Linda N tells me .it's an adjustment period.
and that maybe I should post my ideas.my fears and experiences directly online ,instead of this notebook.

I tell Valerie I am afraid I will sound crazy.

David
called and said he had a dream about me

and said I shouldn't smoke

Valerie says I must write all my thoughts

she gave me more pills

she says...I am doing so well
that there is something about me

jan 28 2016
the abuse is crazy
there's a new part to this
I have been -trained - or something -only to work thru things
online
now it seems ..
I may not
in the past few weeks all things came together
but I am still _spoken to - as if -
as if ...my entire duty in life is to be a processor
something -in betwweee now and what this research is all about
if I do not write
now ..in spite of -warning
I will now be able to so easily tomorrow
writing gets me awaty from the fear
and maybe insights it I realize that evey thing I write sound s like a lunatic
believing he  in some lyrical schizophrenia
maybe I would as well if information about the tech was released..
as this is all about understamding human ..human behavior

intent.
it is up to me and me only to survive as best as I can ..

with what ever I need to do -write--etc
to remain sane..
to remain..
separate from this

ifi were a researchers
a business man trying to get away with -developing a new system of control
I might have done the same things
to mask it
to get away with it
people with IQs 180 200 etc
are not like us
they're a different species
tomorrow will come ..
and I will be scared and lost..
but still too afraid of suicide
-it takes 4 minuts to die whe n one jumps from a bridge
-what is interesting about the computer social media
is it got me nowhere..
it didn't mean a word..
trying very hard to contextulize what's going on
and that s scary
it's a tower of bable
I bable on any way
and get a like here and there ..but the way the social media is liad out nobody has an iidea what I am saying
yet I wake up each morning and do it anyway
which is perculiar
am I draw to the EKF --RF itself
the pixels ...the signal behind the screen ..does the ever changing pixels 9unseeable0 mesmerize us
so much to spend (waste)  a full6 years describing ..something this odd
(less and less is this used for anything but -keeping me in my place0
imagine a system that keeps another in their place
as less than a comouter that has deciphered and mastered all signals form vision to 999 different thinking styles
it can lay atop your own
against your will
and imagine the corruption that keeps this information -oooh the impossible - to its self
--

Valerie Prentiss ,a former Producer at CBS was brought on to help develop and launch Intraneural Programming at Helix , Dome’s first foray into television

Imagine,Valerie would tell investors being able to adjust one's neural feedback
to the sensation and sensory experience of life being a sitcom.
Imagine experiencing any average day in the light,breezy style one experiences when absorbed in a program such as this
is program such a dirty word she would add
of course not.
think of brain computer interface as not only watching TV
but watching the world with TV eyes

unlike a mood altering pill there are no side effects
and because the neural inload was wave driven and laser specific
optic and auditory nerve centers could also be enhanced so that everyday life could always be
better than whats' on TV,"